slow to anger and rich in love

it's not summer.

but the walls are starting to warm up and i can no longer lean against them lest i wish to enjoy a shower of perspiration.

but today is clear, a cool breath is taking a walk through my house and i find myself still able to sit comfortably in my long pants.

life here, despite my recent trials, has been simply good. not having the same freedoms of mobility i once had the taste of has not left an entirely bitter void behind. these last few weeks have been a season of community in my house as four new volunteers have moved in with in the last month as others left for their home lands. it's surprising easy to avoid the people you live with by simply choosing to be quiet or be confining oneself to the four corners of a bed. yet an energy can't help but be felt when there are so many new souls to explore.

agape home is teaching me how to live up to it's name as i realize more and more how i'm falling deeply in love with the kids. my relationships with them have begun to feel more concrete as even the hardest upsets give me

hope. i look at their faces everyday and just marvel at what insanely bewitching little creatures they are.

working with children can have it's trying moments and learning how to deal with each new situation can be an interesting learning experience to say the least. being involved in a tantrum from the other side of the battle field makes me realize what a terror i was as a child and i constantly feel like i need to apologize to my parents for all they had to put up with. i cringe sometimes at the memories of my insubordination that resurface from time to time. dealing with disciplinary issues can be a touchy subject with people and that doesn't exclude agape home. except in this case there are 14 kids being raised by 50 mothers each with their own standards and ideas as to the best course of action. there have been days when i feel like i could kick puppies [sorry sarah] i was so frustrated. but even though at times i feel at a lose as to what i should do, there is one tiny little verse that keeps knocking at my door:

'the Lord is gracious and compassionate, slow to anger and rich in love' Psalms 145:8.

...then i remember that well hey, God is the ultimate example. easier said then done, duh.

but it does cut my tongue short when i want to raise my voice and it does remind me to let go and move on. it can be all too easy to hold grudges against a kid when they've pushed my buttons a little too far. but then i realize that even though i may be giving them the stink eye, they've completely forgotten about the whole incident because well, they're 4 years old and now they are sucking on a popped balloon.

all this and i can't help but love them.

plus i may or may not have taught the 5 year olds how to blow spit bubbles [i don't think the nannies appreciated that one].

another plus, my thai lessons are continuing make my jaw sore but little by little i have been able to see progress as i can actually understand maybe 1/5 of what the children as saying to me now.